You hear the word socialization used frequently.  That’s what schools do best.  They socialize children.  No they don’t.  You learn to talk to a fragment of people your own age.  You learn to envy, resent, fear people older than you.  And you learn to have contempt for people younger than you.  They hardly exist.

-John Taylor Gatto

Socialization.  This is the BIG question when it comes to homeschoolers.  Other people’s concerns primarily are not about academics or athletics or arts.  The foremost concern is about the socialization of your child if she does not attend a school.  It almost seemed to me that many mothers were hiding behind this concern as a way to not think about the possibility of homeschooling.  I do understand that homeschooling is not for every mother but it can be a wonderful experience for many families.

The questions are varied.  How will your child learn to socialize with his peers?  Will your child turn out to be socially awkward.   How will your child interact with people different from herself?   How will he share common cultural experiences with others?  As an experienced homeschool mother, I can assure you that children can grow up socially well-adjusted whether they attended a mass schooling institution or not.  They can also become awkward in either situation as well.  

So, what is socialization?  Let’s get an understanding of that first before we can debate whether or not socialization can only happen in a school setting.  The process of socialization is gained through interacting with other people.  Through this interaction, children learn and internalize norms, values, beliefs, behaviors and social skills of their culture or social environment.  The goal is for a child to become a responsible and functioning member of their surroundings.

Socialization can take place within someone’s family, school, peers, media, religion as well as government and it’s laws.  These influences may change throughout someone’s life and allow for the dynamic nature of socialization.

As a parent, we have the ability to guide our child through this process and choose the communities that align with our own values and beliefs.  We can consciously choose with whom we would like to surround our child.  There is an entire world of choices. 

If we take a few moments to realize that the socialization of a child will have an enormous impact on his success and happiness in life, then I believe it’s necessary to take this factor very seriously.  The outcome for a child growing up in a nurturing, free and positive atmosphere will be entirely different from that of a child who’s been subjected to an oppressive, zero-tolerance and fearful experience.  

We’re not limited to the choice of a mass school environment.  As a parent, we can surround our child with compassionate, interesting and pro-active peers and adults so they can continue making these choices as they mature.  If we send our child to school, we cannot be confident she will have an uplifting experience.  There are too many factors in play there.  Who is her teacher and what are his values?  Who are the other children in her class and what values and ethics do their parents hold?  What about the school administration?  And the curriculum, agendas and lack of oversight of the children?  I have seen and heard of too many fights and bullying in schools and despite stricter measures it just seems to be getting worse.

Another surprising (it’s new to me) fixture at mass education institutions is the SRO or School Resource Officer.  In reality, it’s police presence in schools from high school down to elementary schools.  Many schools also have implemented security checkpoints, sniffer dogs and random drug testing on all students.  I just don’t see how this can be good for a child’s mental health or socialization skills.  That’s just how I view things.  I preferred to keep my children innocent as long as possible – to just be children.

Is it really worth the risk to send your child to a public (or private) school for a mass assimilation program?  Are the academics better or worse in schools today than 20, 30 or even 60 years ago?  What are the habits and behaviors you see your child bringing home with them from school?  Does all this align with what you want for your child and his future?  If so, then school, along with its socialization, is the correct choice. 

Otherwise, home education offers unlimited opportunities for your child to meet the world and engage with a wide variety of individuals.  They will be able to meet and interact with people of all ages, spending time with peers who hold the same interests as well as have more time for learning wholesome cultural norms.  It’s all up to you and your child.  There are no limits to the potential.